Syrian President Says Epstein Didn't Kill Himself

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad jumped down the Jeffrey Epstein rabbit hole. He said that the convicted pedophile was killed due to knowing too much. He claims there's a western plot to eliminate high profile people who know too much.

"American billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was killed several weeks ago, they said he had committed suicide in jail. However, he was killed because he knew a lot of vital secrets connected with very important people in the British and American regimes, and possibly in other countries as well," Assad told Russia's state-run Rossiya-24 station on Thursday.

"And now the main founder of the White Helmets has been killed, he was an officer and he had worked his whole life with NATO in Afghanistan, Kosovo, Iraq and Lebanon," he continued, "Both of us know that they [representatives of the White Helmets] are naturally part of Al-Qaeda. I believe that these people, as well as the previously liquidated [Osama] bin Laden and [ISIS leader Abu Bakr] al-Baghdadi had been killed chiefly because they knew major secrets."

Assad added, "They turned into a burden once they had played out their roles. A dire need to do away with them surfaced after they had fulfilled their roles."

The internet is doing a fine job of keeping the story of Epstein alive as well. Although the man was dirty and deserted to rot in jail, it is glaringly obvious that he did not commit suicide, but was murdered instead.

What do Epstein and Christmas lights have in common? They don't hang themselves!

Here are some of my favorite "Epstein didn't kill himself" memes:

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